FACT: THERE IS A LAKE IN AFRICA BIGGER THAN WALES.

FACT: I HAVE FORGOTTEN ITS NAME.

FACT: THIS LAKE IS LARGELY POPULATED BY A SINGLE TYPE OF FISH WHICH HAS EVOLVED OVER 10 MILLION YEARS INTO HUNDREDS OF VARIANTS.

FACT: ONE OF THESE FISH SHELTERS ITS FRY IN ITS MOUTH, RELEASING THEM WHEN THEY HAVE MATURED.

FACT: I LEARNT THIS FROM A BBC DOCUMENTARY I WATCHED IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE NIGHT BEFORE I LEFT SCOTLAND.

FACT: A CERTAIN SPECIES OF (CUCKOO) FISH MIXES ITS EGGS WITH THOSE OF THE INCUBATOR FISH.

FACT: THE FRY OF THESE EGGS ARE CONSIDERED AS HER OWN BY THE INCUBATOR FISH.

FACT: ONE OF THESE CUCKOO FISH WILL HATCH AND LIVE IN HER MOUTH, EATING THE OTHER FISH.

FACT: WHEN THE CUCKOO FISH HAS GROWN LARGE ENOUGH AND EATEN ALL THE OTHER FISH, IT WILL GROW SPINES.

FACT: THE INCUBATOR FISH WILL SPIT OUT THE CUCKOO FISH. “HER” ONLY BABY.

FACT: AND YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD PROBLEMS.